Perfectionism Is a Moving Target

I’m a CBT psychotherapist. I’ve studied for over 15 years and spent years learning about the human mind, helping people understand their thoughts and behaviours. Yet, despite everything I know, I’m still a recovering perfectionist.

I still find myself asking the same question:

When will I finally feel like I’ve done enough?

Four years ago, my therapist dropped an absolute banger in session:

"You have spent years becoming extraordinarily good at functioning. The next stage of treatment may be less about helping you function better and more about helping you experience life with less internal pressure."

If you're a fellow perfectionist, you probably needed to hear that too.

How did it land with you?

I've always been interested in becoming the best version of myself. I understand cognitive behavioural therapy. I understand thought patterns, avoidance, anxiety, perfectionism and the endless ways our minds can keep us stuck.

You'd think that, with all that knowledge and effort, I might have figured everything out by now.

I haven't.

But hear me out.

There are things that have genuinely helped me. There are also things that haven't. And luckily for you, I'm going to share both.

This blog series isn't about having all the answers. It's about exploring what I've learned as both a therapist and as someone living inside a busy, ambitious, neurodivergent mind.

I want to talk about perfectionism, ADHD, anxiety, overthinking, productivity, rest, therapy, holistic approaches, relationships, environment and all the things that shape our wellbeing. I'll share the ideas that have genuinely helped me, the ones that haven't, and the strange experience of knowing exactly what you'd tell a client while sometimes struggling to take your own advice.

I'll share psychological research, therapeutic insights, personal experiences and the different approaches I've explored in an attempt to feel healthier, calmer and more at home in my own life.

Not because I've reached some perfect destination. But because I'm beginning to wonder whether constantly trying to arrive there was the problem all along.

Between 15 years of studying, reaching my mid-thirties, doing my own therapy and running a private practice, my perspective has shifted.

Maybe the goal isn't to finally become perfect. Maybe it's to build a life you genuinely enjoy while you're still a work in progress. That's what I want to explore here.

Not as someone who's figured it all out.

But as someone who's still learning.

Because I'm a recovering perfectionist.

And I'm still curious about one question:

When will I be perfect?