If you’re Over thinking, you might be Under feeling.

In cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), we frequently see how overthinking or cognitive over analysis can be a way to avoid uncomfortable emotions (shame, sadness, anxiety to name a few). Clients are often more comfortable expressing thoughts and bypassing feelings.  When you’re wired for performance or survival, discomfort can feel like inefficiency. Emotions like sadness, anxiety, shame, or vulnerability seem like distractions. So you go into fix-it mode, Control mode, “Let me find information to make sense of this” mode. But emotions aren’t problems to be solved — they’re experiences to be felt and processed.

We live in a culture that celebrates thinking, we often praise overthinking as a sign of intelligence or conscientiousness. Think about it, the mind working overtime to solve problems, anticipate outcomes, prepare for every possible eventuality it’s an elite level skill right? But it doesn’t work for every aspect of life. Sometimes that sharp, analytical mind is doing something else entirely, it’s protecting you from feeling.

So what does overthinking look like? Overthinking often looks like:

· Replaying conversations in your mind

· Trying to find the “perfect” solution or decision

· Ruminating on the past (“Why did that happen?” “What did I do wrong?”)

· Worrying endlessly about the future

While these seem like attempts to gain clarity or control, they often serve another function, you guessed it, a distraction from feeling. Overthinking, whether it’s ruminating, planning, researching, or playing out every scenario in your head can look like a strength. But beneath the surface, it’s often a way to avoid emotional discomfort.

Thinking vs Feeling

Our brains are incredible at protecting us from pain. One way they do this is by shifting attention from the emotional (felt) experience to the cognitive (thought) experience. In these moments, the mind says: “If I just think this through hard enough, I won’t have to feel the pain.”

Instead of feeling sadness after a breakup, someone might obsessively analyse every interaction with their ex. Ruminating on where the relationship broke down, replaying conversations, trying to make sense of a feeling with logic, which will ultimately keep your brain stuck in a rumination loop.

Instead of sitting with discomfort/anxiety before a big presentation, someone might spiral into over planning every detail to perfection. Focusing on preparing, as a safety behaviour to avoid making mistakes. Often leading to high levels of stress, agitation and fatigue as it negatively starts to impact performance. 

Instead of acknowledging guilt or shame, a person might fixate on who was right or wrong in a conflict this is often referred to as black and white thinking. Having a concrete answer feels more certain then an ambiguous feeling.

The Hidden Cost of Overthinking

When we suppress or avoid our emotional world through thinking, several things can happen:

Emotions go underground but they don’t disappear. They show up in the body (tension, headaches, fatigue) or in our behaviour (irritability, avoidance, burnout).

We disconnect from our needs because emotions carry important messages. Avoiding them can mean ignoring what we truly need, our behaviour becomes wired to protect us from negative outcomes (aka survival mode activated).

We stay stuck because true healing and change require emotional processing, not just intellectual understanding.

We can become disconnected from ourselves, and others. Which ultimately reinforces the belief that feelings are an inconvenience.

But here’s the truth:

Overthinking might seem productive, but often it’s a clever disguise for emotional avoidance. When we shift from over analysis to emotional awareness, we open the door to deeper healing, clarity, and resilience.

Next time you catch yourself spiralling in thoughts, pause and ask: What am I trying not to feel right now? The answer might surprise you and lead you somewhere more honest, real, and healing.

If this post resonates with you, and you recognise that your mind may is working overtime whilst your emotions are left behind, you don’t have to break the cycle alone. Overthinking can be productive, but it can also be exhausting!

Learning how to feel your emotions, rather than fix them is often the more sustainable high performance skill.

If you’re ready to work smarter with your mind and emotions, CBT can help.